How to Get Help for an Elderly Parent: Where to Start

If your parent needs more help at home, start with two things: ask what would make daily life easier for them, and contact a service that can explain local options. In the United States, the Eldercare Locator is a useful first stop. Call or text 1-800-677-1116, or search its website using your parent's location.

You do not need to have a complete care plan before making that first call. A short list of the tasks that are becoming difficult will give you somewhere to start.

Who should you call first?

The Eldercare Locator is a public service of the Administration for Community Living. It connects older adults and families with services in their communities. Use your parent's city, county or ZIP code, especially if you live somewhere else.

Ask for the Area Agency on Aging that serves your parent's area. Often called an AAA, this local or regional organization coordinates support for older adults. Its name may be different in your community.

According to ACL's guide to finding help, the Eldercare Locator can connect families with resources for meals, home care, transportation, caregiver training and respite support. Describe the help you need and ask which local organization handles it.

Before ending the call, write down the organization, contact person, phone number and next step. If you receive several referrals, ask which one to try first.

Make a short list with your parent

Start with a question such as, "Which part of the day would you most like some help with?" Leave room for your parent to explain what they want to keep doing themselves.

Then write down specific tasks. For example:

• Meals: Grocery shopping is difficult, or preparing dinner takes too much effort.
• Transportation: Your parent needs a ride to an appointment or regular activity.
• Household tasks: Laundry, cleaning or changing bedding is becoming hard to manage.
• Personal care: Your parent wants help with bathing, dressing or another daily routine.
• Caregiver time: You need someone to take over agreed responsibilities while you rest, work or attend an appointment.

For each task, note how often help is needed, who currently does it and where there is a gap. "A ride every Tuesday morning" gives a provider more to work with than "We need more support."

If you are arranging help for yourself, use the same list. Your preferences should guide the conversation.

Match the need to the right kind of help

Practical help around the home

Ask the local aging-services organization about the specific task on your list. When speaking with a provider, check exactly what staff can do, what they cannot do and whether they serve your parent's address. Do not assume that a service advertised as "home care" includes every kind of assistance.

Medical care or changes in ability

Bring medical questions and changes in your parent's ability to manage daily activities to their health care professional. Ask whether an assessment or referral is appropriate. Nursing and therapy needs require a different conversation from arranging groceries or transportation.

If home health care is recommended, confirm the services and payment arrangements with the provider and insurer. Medicare's home health information explains that coverage depends on eligibility and other requirements; a referral alone should not be treated as confirmation that everything will be paid for.

Support for you as a caregiver

Ask about help for the caregiver as well as the person receiving care. ACL's National Family Caregiver Support Program supports services such as information, help accessing services, training, support groups and respite care. Respite provides temporary relief from caregiving responsibilities.

Ask the local organization what support is available, who can use it and how to apply. You do not need to wait until every other part of the plan is settled to ask.

What to say on the first call

Here is a simple starting point:

"I'm helping my parent find support at home in [city or county]. We need help with [two specific tasks], about [how often]. My parent would prefer [their preference]. Which services should we contact, and what do we need to do next?"

If you are calling for yourself, replace the opening with, "I'm looking for support at home." Keep a pen or notes app nearby so you can record names and follow-up dates.

Questions to ask before arranging a service

• Do you serve this address, and do you provide the help we described?
• What assessment, referral or application is needed?
• When could support begin? Is there a waiting list?
• What does it cost, including minimum hours, extra fees and cancellation charges?
• Are there assistance programs we can ask about, and who determines eligibility?
• For in-home staff, what screening, training and supervision are provided?
• What happens if the usual worker is unavailable?
• Who should we contact if needs change or something is not working?

Request the service details and charges in writing before agreeing. Keep referrals, applications and confirmed arrangements separate in your notes so a phone conversation does not get mistaken for a booked service.

A manageable first-week plan

Use this sequence to organize the next steps. Services may take longer to arrange.

1. Start with priorities. Talk with your parent and choose the two most useful kinds of support to investigate first.
2. Make the first contact. Use the Eldercare Locator and note the local organizations suggested.
3. Follow the referrals. Ask about availability, requirements and costs. Put any medical questions on a separate list for the health care professional.
4. Assign the next actions. Decide who will return calls, complete forms and check progress. Ask family members for a specific task they can commit to.
5. Review together. Check what is confirmed, what is still pending and whether the options match your parent's preferences.

For broader household planning, see our guides to caring for elderly parents at home and preparing for aging parents.

Include bedroom equipment when it is relevant

If getting into or out of bed is one of the difficulties on your list, include it in the conversation with your parent's health care professional. Ask what assistance and equipment are appropriate before buying. If a lift bed is being considered, our EzLift Deluxe offers motorized sleep-to-stand positioning. Review the product information and your parent's individual needs with their care professional.

Your first step can be small: write down two tasks, ask your parent what they prefer and make one call. Keep following up until you know who can help, what it will cost and what happens next.

By EzLift Team. Sources checked October 9, 2026. This guide covers general planning and U.S. services. Direct medical questions to a qualified health care professional.